HOW TO GROW YOUR VALUE
1. Dig deep
It all starts with digging deep. It is about learning how to not just have a data filled message about why you have value, but rather to dig deep and find out why it drives you. Women are driven by their passions. By their connections with people. By the people that they love.
I have found - as I have coached women over the years, to get up on stage and pitch their value - that if they dig deep and figure out what their life is really about and who they really are, then their messages become effective and dynamic.
2. Use what you have
We need to use our qualities - that involve kindness, love, relationships, passion and drive to enhance our ability to communicate effectively. This usually changes your message and what your pitch really is. When a woman knows her value, and knows what she wants, she is extremely hard to stop.
3. Press reset
When you have a bad experience with a person in the workplace press reset tomorrow or even press reset in the moment. Men do this all the time. We joke at my events that men don’t remember anything, which is why they are so good at resetting but it is actually an amazing talent.
Men move on. We hold onto things. We talk about them. We confide in people. We create this whole aura of negative thinking around a person or an event and we just have to move on. It is about not over emotionalizing events, meetings, bad interactions, bad experiences and moving the hell on. Commanding respect in the next moment with the very same group or with the very same person or boss.
4. Push back in real time
Women tend to be in situations that are uncomfortable or that they don’t agree with and we don’t say something right then and there. And then we lose the opportunity to be respected. We need to have judgement to be someone who knows what they are talking about and says it. Even though it may feel very uncomfortable we need to push back in real time.
Also, every time you get a no, if you really want to do something go back and ask again. Go back a month later. Bring a better case to the table and show why it is more viable or more important now.
What does a no mean to a guy? It means move on to the next possibility. It means try again. We tend to let go of things, because one person didn’t like the idea and that one person has power.
5. Wait it out
We need to learn to wait it out when negotiating - and this we are horrible at. Women tend to lurch into deals. We just want the deal done. We want to feel safe. We want the uncomfortableness to be over with.
Men are awesome at dragging it out. They will work side by side with someone in a horrible negation and it will not even make them flinch. We sweat bullets when we are in negotiations and if it lasts more than a day we are waiting by the phone and up late at night talking about it.
I did what Joe does all the time in his negotiations. That is to wait. So, you have got a good deal? Yeah well, don’t tell them today. Tell them next week. Tell them when you feel like it. Women want it done, men wait.
Waiting creates a scenario where we are much more in control of our futures, our paths and situations because we are operating as if it is just business - because that is exactly what it is.